even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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