Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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