her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
