$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
