Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
