Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
