His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
