I want to walk on stilts...naked
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
