There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
