Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
