I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Sorry about my life...
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
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