cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
