Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
