I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
foreskin is a definite game changer
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Im part way to drunk.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
