but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
He kissed a someone with a penis
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
