Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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