so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
We had to coat check the pizza.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize