I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
