we have officially lost it.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I think my moral compass just broke
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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