I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize