Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
he had hair everywhere except his balls
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
