Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Randomize
