i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize