My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
She's just so happy...and so naked.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
