I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
