it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
