He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize