so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
