Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
