you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
