Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
