she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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