Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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