do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
