tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
