It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
