We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
