you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Randomize
