i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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