I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
