I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
