You're so nebulous sometimes
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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