I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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