champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
