I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
