Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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