When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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