My first STD was from a foam party
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
