I'll bet she douches with gravy.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
