I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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