Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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