just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
My bed smells like the plague
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize