yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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