also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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