I feel like I'm in dance class right now
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I think people are normalizing furries
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
