We're like a lot better than the average bears
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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