I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize