The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
