the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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