I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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