Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
