Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
