Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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