Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
My vagina is officially offended.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
