Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
