it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
