So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
