he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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