I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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